28 and 27.. missed a day already!

Whoops!  Missed a day already.  See, I'm no good at this blogging stuff!

We got a new dog yesterday.  His name is Rocky, although I'd like to change it to Stitch to go with our other dog Lilo.. however Rocky seems to stick with him.  Actually Romeo would be even better because he loves women!  Anyway, he's a Chorkie (Yokie and Chihuahua mix) and he's absolutely beautiful.  I'm totally in love with him.  Lilo doesn't care for him and he doesn't care for Lilo, but we're working on getting them to get along.  It's slow going, but I was expecting that.  He follows me around all day long and stays right next to me.  Right now he's laying on the floor by my feet while I'm at the computer. 

Aside from the dog excitement, more drama with the kid. :-( Got sent to the principals office again today for threatening to hit someone.  The someone he threatened apparently pushed him.  Found out tonight that this particular person and three others are really mean to him all the time.  That makes me so sad.  I just don't know what to do with him.  I'm proud of him for not hitting this kid, but at the same time, it irritates me that this kid didn't get in trouble for pushing him, he got in trouble for saying he was going to hit the kid.  Really?  That seems fair. 

Lent starts tomorrow.  I've decided instead of giving something up, I'm making myself take walks at least 5 days out of the week. I guess technically I'm giving up being lazy, right?  I need to find some yummy vegetarian recipes to use during Lent also.  The hubby doesn't like fish, so there's only so many meatless meals I can make that he'll eat.  Luckily I've got some clam chowder in the cupboard for the kiddo for lunch tomorrow.. and we're having breakfast for dinner tomorrow.. beyond that, I need some meatless ideas!

Off to use the google power now..

29 Days!

Ha!  I didn't forget.  Not today at least.. it's still early.  Sitting here at work again today.  It's so quiet in here, I expect it to be that way all day long due to the pouring rain outside.  Wish I could say I had something to do other than sitting here on my netbook.  I already scrubbed down every flat surface in here and baked cookies.

Hopefully the kiddo will have a good day at home with the hubby today. Everything is such a battle with him these days, especially where the hubby is concerned.  Tomorrow I will be trying once again to find him a new therapist who is closer to our home.  Damn gas prices right now, I can't afford to go to the one we were going to anymore because he was 20 miles away.  In a gas guzzling vehicle, that's a lot of gas!  So tomorrow I will hopefully get a hold of the community counseling place in our town.  I didn't want to have to use them, small town and all, but my last resort has arrived.. thank you Libya or whoever is to blame for the sudden rise in gas prices!

In other news, it seems the rain has stopped.  Hopefully we'll get some people in here now.  It is way too quiet!!!!

30 Days?

I am such a slacker in the blogging department.  I'm going to challenge myself to 30 days of blogging!  I wonder if I can actually remember to write something everyday?  Anyone care to join me???

Soooo let's start with today.  I'm sitting here bored off my mind at work.  Generally it's pretty fun at work, but it's kinda quiet today.  Annoying sailor guy (ASG for short) is here and I'm trying to look busy so he won't come talk to me.  Cruel I know, but I already watched some stupid W.O.W. video on You tube that I just *had to see* at his insistence.  Usually he sits and talks about everything that is of no interest to me.  Yeah I'm mean.. but sheesh.. he goes on and on.  And usually it happens when I'm trying to do something.  I love my job and for the most part I love all the sailors who come in here, but some of them just get on my last damn nerve!  ASG is definitely one of them.  Some of the other ones who come in here are awesome.  I wish they weren't students.. I could see myself being friends with a lot of them, but unfortunately outside of my job, I can't hang with them thanks to my hubby's job.  Sometimes that can be a little frustrating.

In other news.. we are ABA therapistless again!  We had hired another one, but she's gone MIA since December.  I'm quite fed up and irritated with the company who keeps doing this to us.  The kiddo is doing alright, but we're entering into tweendom now and he's turning into a crabby kid with a nasty mouth.  At this point in time I'm scared we're going to have to hospitalize him in the near future.  I want him on meds but am scared to try any again..  He's constantly getting in trouble in school, to the point where apparently 7 parents have complained about it to the principal.  I constantly hear from my friend whose daughter in his class about how horrible he is everyday.  I'm on the school nonstop to keep me informed and to see what they are doing about things.  He can't sit still and keep his hands to himself.  Makes me feel like a horrible parent when I hear my 9 year old can't control himself any better than a 3 year old can.  Then I get the pleasure of listening to a friend lecture me about putting him on meds again or maybe I just need to hit him.. that'll stop his behavior.  Yeah, cause I want my kid to be terrified of me like other kids are of their parents.  Anyhoo.. yeah things are a barrel of fun around here.

Guess I have a lot to say.  Should be easy for me to keep this up for 29 more days, right?????

A million steps back.

We are officially without a BCBA now.  We let ours go today due to a string of unfortunate events that led us to that decision.  I'm mad as hell and frustrated.  Things were going so well.  The kiddo loved the girl who was working with him.  We all loved our BCBA, but shit happens and we are back to square one.. yet again.  I don't want to go through this process again.  I don't want to make the phone calls, listen to people say they are too far away or have them not even return my phone calls. 

Our BCBA did say he will help us find someone new, but I'm really  not holding my breath.  I feel so defeated right now.  And through all of this frustration, it's the kiddo who is really going to feel the effects of this.  It's him who is being left in the dark because several adults didn't hold up their end of the bargain.  It's his heartbroken face I had to look into when I had to tell him that we will no longer be working with Mary, the girl who had been working with him. 

I don't want to do this all over again.  I sure as hell do not want to find someone and have my child bond with him or her again and then have them up and leave again.  I'm not sure I can put my trust into anyone else right now, but we really need to get this set up and going again.. preferably BEFORE school starts.  So, I will suck it up and go from here.. and hope someone will be easily able to pick these pieces up before the kiddo regresses any from all this drama.

what will the future hold?

I find myself wondering lately how the kiddo is going to survive middle school and beyond.  How will he navigate the social hierarchy of each? He has no concept of social boundaries, he has no clue that kids aren't really playing with him.  Will he by then?  How will he navigate the complicated and confusing adult world when the time comes?  He's going into 4th grade in the fall and that alone scares me, I can't even imagine how I'll be feeling when he starts middle school in another two years or high school in five years.  He's almost 9 and is so oblivious to the world around him sometimes.  Kids his age are starting to develop deep friendships.  I still talk to my best friend from third and fourth grade and I moved away from there before fifth grade.  20 some odd years later, we still chat on facebook occasionally, she even traveled here to be at my wedding 13 years ago.  Will he find a friend like that?  Will he develop friendships so deep he'll never completely lose contact with them, even after we move away once again?  I wish I knew for certain that he was going to be ok.  I wish I knew for certain we would always have kids who are so incredibly understanding of his differences that they can look beyond that and see the person he truly is. 

Right now he's in the summer enrichment program at school.  Despite a few behavioral issues, he's doing alright, but the kids don't really care for him.  It breaks my heart that they find him annoying.  Yeah he is at times, but so is everyone else at times.  He's probably the youngest kid in there, which doesn't help matters anyway, but I wish the older kids could realize and understand that he just needs their approval and support, not to be made fun of and shunned because he's annoying them.  I wish the neighborhood kids could understand that he's just like them.  I wish he could really play with them and not just be playing around them. 

I'm frustrated because I don't know what to do to make things better for him.  I want him to have a happy life and I want him to succeed in everything he does, but it scares me that he will not find true happiness in the world around him.  I want him to have every change he possibly can in life and I wonder if he really will. 

I wonder what other people think....

We went to dinner tonight.. the kiddo, the hubby, my mom and me.  The kiddo and I go with my Mom every other Friday when she gets paid, tonight the hubby is actually done with working nights for awhile, so he was able to join us.  There was a family sitting at the table behind us.  There was a little girl, maybe 2 who kept looking over the seat at the kiddo.  Several times he ducked under the table because she was looking at him.  LOL  He kept saying that girl is looking at me, she needs to stop.  I told him to just ignore it and stay facing the table and so on.. THANKFULLY he wasn't screaming it, but I'm sure the Mom heard him.  She didn't say anything to us about it, but I did hear her discreetly telling her daughter to stop turning around after one of the times the kiddo said it. 

Now, he wasn't trying to be rude, he was just uncomfortable with it.  That lack of a filter in him, he just says what he thinks.  I was doing my best to keep him quiet and calm.. but I really wonder what that Mom thought.  I wonder what the conversation was like in her car after they left.. When the kiddo got up to go to the bathroom, she did give him a funny look. 

It really makes me wonder what other people think when they see kids like mine.  If I see kids like mine, I always give a knowing smile and don't act like there's anything out of the norm going on.  I am incredibly patient with other special needs children (why am I not as patient with my own?).  I guess I could have said somthing to this Mother.. not to excuse his behavior but to explain it.. but then I wonder if she would have thought we were all a bunch of loons! LOL

Ah well.. another trip out survived.. another chance to help him navigate this strange world he lives in.. even with the funny looks and the toddler who was annoying him.. we survived and it didn't end in a screaming tantrum, so all is good...

The End.

We are done with third grade.  We are done with the awful teacher who has no clue how to deal with special needs students.  We are done with the stress and drama and unhappiness this year has  brought.  I feel the need to celebrate this ending somehow.. The kiddo wants wings from Pizza Hut, so maybe I'll swing out there and pick him up some as a congrats for surviving third grade for him.  I feel like a weight has been lifted... we have wasted so many tears, arguements, and stress over this school year since we moved here.  Now we can put it behind us.

I am looking forward to starting fourth grade with a fresh perspective.  I am looking forward to no longer having to deal with the crappy teacher and having a teacher who has so much patience for special needs children. 

Now let the summertime fun begin....