Out of control

The kiddo is on a major downward spiral. We ended up at the psychiatric hospital with him yesterday and almost had him admitted because he completely lost control at school and was raging in a major way for 35 minutes. My school is being so great about it and are so supportive of me, but it still sucks. We've been trying to get into the drs for awhile now to change his meds. We got a diagnosis from the neuro psych a couple weeks ago and his diagnosis reads like this.. "bipolar, aspergers, adhd, combined" He suggested various other meds to help control the anger/mood swing problems we've been having but I didn't want to make any changes to meds until spring break when I knew he'd be out of school for a week. Obviously we cannot wait that long now. He was completely out of control at school yesterday, even ran from the school at one point. He did this in front of the entire second grade, half the third grade and numerous staff members. There was hitting, punching, kicking, cursing, spitting, and lots of screaming involved. Three of us (including one HUGE man who should be a professional football player just for his size alone) trying to restrain him. Our assistant principal was on the floor with him and she's 18 weeks pregnant.. all I could think about was him hurting her and the baby. It breaks my heart thinking about how his classmates will react to him being back in school on Monday. He's out today and tomorrow by my choice, not the schools. We go back to our psych tomorrow and will hopefully get some meds that will work almost immediately. The hubby is supposed to go back out to sea tomorrow and I'm scared to be alone with the kiddo until we have this under control. He rages like this at home and I'm scared he's going to seriously hurt me or himself. He's told me several times in his raging state that he wants to kill me. I hope I did the right thing not admitting him.. I am questioning myself so much there, but I truly believe that would have made things a million times worse. The severe rages have been going on for weeks.. on an almost daily basis.. at home. But it's just at home.. never has it gotten like that at school. Everyone was so worried about him and me yesterday.. the principal and assistant principal both gave me their cell phone numbers before we went to the hospital, his teacher called me at home last night and I just spoke with the AP again this morning.

So basically my life sucks ass at this present point in time. I'm severely sleep deprived because he's not sleeping, I'm stressed out, I'm over emotional and life just generally sucks. So I've been staying away because I didn't want to snap at anyone else, but felt I owed you all an explanation and really could just use some support and prayers. My IRL friends basically suck or are so far away that only a phone call will do.. so I have no one right now. My mom and sister were both completely amazing yesterday when I was dealing with all. My Mom is out of town on business and was in a meeting, but stayed on the phone with me while i drove to the hospital and then called my sister for me. My sister was willing to leave work to come sit with us at the hospital and has offered to do whatever we need this weekend. My mom even offered to come down this weekend to help out. Connor's teacher is amazing too and she called me last night and told me if I needed any help whatsoever while Russ was gone to call her and she'd be right over. She lives fairly close to where we live.