A million steps back.

We are officially without a BCBA now.  We let ours go today due to a string of unfortunate events that led us to that decision.  I'm mad as hell and frustrated.  Things were going so well.  The kiddo loved the girl who was working with him.  We all loved our BCBA, but shit happens and we are back to square one.. yet again.  I don't want to go through this process again.  I don't want to make the phone calls, listen to people say they are too far away or have them not even return my phone calls. 

Our BCBA did say he will help us find someone new, but I'm really  not holding my breath.  I feel so defeated right now.  And through all of this frustration, it's the kiddo who is really going to feel the effects of this.  It's him who is being left in the dark because several adults didn't hold up their end of the bargain.  It's his heartbroken face I had to look into when I had to tell him that we will no longer be working with Mary, the girl who had been working with him. 

I don't want to do this all over again.  I sure as hell do not want to find someone and have my child bond with him or her again and then have them up and leave again.  I'm not sure I can put my trust into anyone else right now, but we really need to get this set up and going again.. preferably BEFORE school starts.  So, I will suck it up and go from here.. and hope someone will be easily able to pick these pieces up before the kiddo regresses any from all this drama.