Saturday, June 20, 2009

why can't people just be happy with what they have?

I don't understand it. Why not be happy with what you already have? Why the constant search for more and more that only leads you straight to total disappointment? I don't get it. Why do people feel the need to put themselves through emotional and physical pain over and over again? I guess some people just can't be happy. I mean I wish we had more kids, I wish the kiddo had a sibling. For awhile I was ready to deal with the fertility doctor, but he was an ass and now I'm fine with it. We have a small family and maybe one day we'll add to it by adoption or by the birth of another child. IF that day comes, I will welcome it, but if it doesn't, I will not mourn the loss of what could be. Yeah, I'd love for the hubby to be higher ranking, but again, if that day never comes, it's ok. We can manage with what we have right now and still live a pretty complete life. We're not struggling by any means. I'm happy with things just the way they are. Why can't other people see how ridiculously full their own lives are and be happy with it?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

well doesn't that just suck!

We've been waiting on a letter from VB schools gifted committee about the kiddo. This past year he was put on HOLDS status which means give him the gifted work and then some, test him at the end of the year and we'll see what happens. He had the testing done a few weeks ago. I got the results today. They deemed him not gifted. Now, I'm totally fine with that, but some explanation would be nice. I want to know why. I'm sure his teacher and the gifted teacher will be floored when they get the letter on Monday. They are both blown away by the kiddo and how well he's done this year. So now I have to wait until Monday when I can contact the gifted committee person and find out what the dealy is.

This also poses another problem for me. Seeing as I work at the kiddo's school, I've gotten to know some of the teachers. I know which teachers I want him with and which I don't. With him not receiving the gifted status this next year, I no longer know which class he will be in. This puts me in the really awkward position of having to go to our principal and request that he not be put in a specific teacher's class. I don't mind this teacher as a person, but I do not think she would be the best teacher for my son at all and I will not let him be in her class.. period. I really did not want to have to do this, but it has to be done now, since I'm not guaranteed him being in the class I was hoping he'd be in.

I'm very interested in knowing what happened with his testing. I want to know what specifically the problem is. I'm afraid they are going to tell me his writing ability is the problem, because I'm sure any of his written work that was turned in for his portfolio to them was practically illegible. If that was the problem, then I'm appealing the hell out of this because that's part of his "disability" and he should not be denied gifted status because of it.

I hate that i have to wait until Monday. I'm going over to the school Monday morning to talk to his teacher and the gifted resource teacher to hear their thoughts on all this. It sucks not knowing what the reason is. Why they do not just put it in the letter is beyond me.

I don't care about the label either way, I really don't. Gifted or not doesn't matter to me. I think he's the most brilliant amazing kid. He's smart as can be and can rattle off any bit of information about everything they've learned throughout the year and is always eager to learn more. He wants to do research projects over the summer! It just sucks that we will probably be put in a class next year with a lower expectation and that frustrates the hell out of me. I want him to stay in the gifted cluster class because that's where he is thriving.

I also really don't want to have to talk to the principal and tell her that I don't want him in that particular teachers class. It sucks that I have to do that, but she would not be the best teacher for him at all.

We'll see what Monday brings I guess. I'll try not to stress over it between now and then.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

so we've been doing ABA for a month now..

I really like our ABA therapist. She's amazing with the kiddo and he loves her. She has some of the most simple ideas that work wonders. Often I'm left wondering "well why the hell didn't I think of that?" We've got a reward system in place for him to help him control his anger. It's working somewhat. She made him a binder with anger management stuff in it that we need to keep going over I think. She gets him to do his homework with ease, he even asks to do it with her instead of me on days she's coming. I think this is a good thing.

Lately I've been really taking a look at things. I wonder if he is truly on the autism spectrum. I don't doubt in a few years someone will give us a whole new diagnosis. I'm so confused about everything. Everyone who meets him says "he doesn't seem like he has aspergers" but to me he does.. based on everything I've learned about it. I dunno. At least right now we can get help that will be good for us. We've got the ABA therapist and I think that's helping us tremendously. I'm learning different and better ways to deal with things, he's learning coping skills from someone other than me. We're all learning something here.

I hope it continues to go well for us. With everything else, we need a bit of good. Hopefully he will continue to respond to her and he will continue to learn coping strategies. I just want him to grow up to have a normal life. No matter what he is labeled with.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

hmmm it's been awhile...

I'm tired. What else is new. It's been awhile since I've written. Things are slowly improving with the kiddo. I dunno, things still suck quite often. Right now he's passed out on the couch after having a meltdown (in front of the new neighbor nonetheless) and throwing things at me. I'm sure he hurt himself in the process too because he smacked the back of his hand on his scooter. I'm not even sure where that is right now. I'm frustrated to no end right now. I'm tired and frustrated. Our new psych is fucking useless. We still have not found the right combination of medication for Connor and I'm over it. I'm ready to say fuck you to them all and just take him off everything. It kills me that he's on so many different strong medications and nothing is helping him. What the fuck? I know.. trial and error and all that bullshit, but enough is enough. Yeah, I'm pissed off. I'm tired, frustrated and pissed off. I hate this shit so much. I love my son to the moon and back, but I'm so sick and tired of this. I hate being afraid to go anywhere because I'm afraid he will lose it, I hate having people over for the same reason. My time, energy and all my focus goes towards making sure he is happy and I get lost in the insanity. My marriage is a joke, I'm fucking exhausted and I just want some sense of normalcy in my life. Is that too much to ask?

Monday, March 23, 2009

Tonight was hard.

We visited with the kiddo tonight. He was agitated the whole time we were there and kept wanting us to leave because he wanted to play on the computer. It was not a fun visit. I don't know if the meds are causing it or what.. who knows. All I know is I'm tired. The husband is here, and not out to sea. He is on leave again this week. And quite honestly, I want him gone. He's driving me up a wall. I really just want to be here alone.. despite it sucking to be here alone, I don't want to talk to him or even be around him.. I'm just irritated with everything that comes out of his mouth.

So I'm going to bed.. because if I don't, I'll just be bitchy all night long. Besides that, I feel like crap.. I wish I wasn't still sick. blah

Today was not a good day.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I don't know if I can do this.

I'm so alone right now. My house is too quiet, being here alone with just the dog and cat sucks. I miss the kiddo. I hate that he's in the hospital right now. I'm so scared and worried about him. Is he hungry? Is he tired? Does he know we love him? Does he need anything? I'm a freaking mess right now. I do not want to wait until 6 PM to see him. This sucks. I am second guessing myself now and it truly sucks. I need to just get dressed and go do something. Being alone sucks. Wish I had some friends here that I could hang out with. I'm losing my own mind today.

I don't even know what I should tell people. People are going to start asking me where he is soon.. what do I say? How do I explain it to them? Do I lie and just say he's visiting family? Do I say he's in the hospital? What do I do????

I'm not doing good at all today. I need to see him to know he's ok.. time needs to move faster.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

We did it.

We put him in the hospital. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Maybe we should have just listened to them 10 days ago and done it then, but oh well... it's done now. He was ok when we left him there.. we'll see how the night goes. This sucks.

I'm tired.

I'm over this. I want off this ride, it sucks. It's not fair and it just sucks. How do I decide enough is enough and just take him to the hospital, since we can't do it the way we were trying to plan to. How do I get him in the car and over there and then have the strength to leave him there? How do I walk out of that place without him with me? I'm scared every minute, hell every second, something is going to set him off and he's going to go totally psycho on me. He's a 48 pound 7 year old for cripes sake, I should not be scared of him! Everything I tell him he responds with no. He will not follow instructions, he will not do anything I ask him to do, he constantly responds with "well you hate me then" or "you don't love me" or "you are trying to kill me". *sigh* I can't take this much longer. Something needs to happen. I wish I could say if we took him right now that the husband could be here DEFINITELY to be a part of this process, but the truth of the matter is, the answer to that is probably no. And most of all, he HAS to be here for this because he needs to learn how to keep his shit under control too. He needs to learn NOT to over react when the kid does things, and I've been telling him that since toddlerdome and it obviously hasn't sunk in. So I cannot do the whole hospital thing without him being here because otherwise it's not going to help things completely.

I'm freaking exhausted. I'm sick (literally.. blah) and tired and I'm a total bitch right now because my patience is worn thing. I don't have it left in me to fight anymore. I can't do it. I think we need to just pack him up and take him to the hospital but I know the husband feels differently about that. So we sit and wait. Maybe if the kid breaks my nose because he hit me, then maybe the husband would finally think hospitalization is necessary. I don't know what it's going to take to get it through his head. I just want my kid fixed. Is that too much to ask? I should not be scared of my child.. ever and it breaks my heart that I am. :(

Friday, March 20, 2009

well we had a plan..

we came up with what we thought was the best plan for the kiddo. I spoke to our therapist this morning and told her the plan. Our plan was to bring him to the hospital the week before spring break. He would only miss one day of school and then the husband would be home the entire time the kiddo would be in the hospital. Anytime before that, the husband would be out to sea and it is imperative that he be there when the kiddo is in the hospital. It took many conversations and arguements and sleepless nights to come up with this decision and know in our hearts that this is the right choice for the kiddo.

So the therapist thought our plan was a good one and told me to call the hospital and let them know. I did. The person on the other end of the phone told me we could not plan an admission to the hospital. ummm why not? He needs the help regardless if we do it today, tomorrow or two weeks from now. She told me that we had to wait until we had another serious incident again before we could admit him. We can't just plan out an admission like we wanted to do. So I don't know where we go from here. I really have no idea. If he gets out of control next week while the hubby is gone, do I take him to the hospital then? What f-ing good will that do for the husband who NEEDS to be there for treatment and counseling and to just talk to the doctors? He NEEDS to be there to hear what they have to say. I can tell him everything until I'm blue in the face, but I do not think he will ever truly get it unless he actually hears it from a doctor.

So I feel like we're back to square one again. I just don't know what to do. Something has to change here.. we need help and we need it quickly. I feel like I'm drowing sometimes, other times I feel like I'm just rolling over and ignoring it because I don't want to set off the kiddo. I'm nervous and I'm scared and I just want him better. :(

Monday, March 16, 2009

I'm so conflicted.

I am so torn right now. I don't know what to do and I wish someone could just tell me the right choice to make. The kiddo needs help. period. end of story. He needs help. More help than I can give him, more help than the professionals we see now can give him. Was it a mistake not admitting him to the hospital last Wednesday when this all went down? Should I put him in a day treatment facility? Honestly, that seems like the best option for us. But they have a waiting list. :( That does him no good. So what do I do in the meantime? I wish I could find some sort of therapy place that can see him on a very regular basis and ensure that we get a handle on this. I wish that I had a magic wand to make this all go away and make my kid normal again. It kills me that he's this messed up, but I'm scared for my safety. What happens when the hubby is out to sea and the kiddo grabs a knife and comes after me because he's so angry? What happens if he hurts me so badly I cannot call for help? What happens if he's so out of control and I have to call the police to come subdue my fucking 7 year old? I'm scared. I'm worried, I'm scared, I'm anxious, I'm nervous as hell, I just want a normal kid. That's all. Is that too much to ask? Should I call the hospital back and admit him since the hubby is definitely off work for the next week? Is that the right thing to do? Would a week be enough to fix him? I hate this. I fucking hate this.

Mindless rambling..

so much is going on right now. The kiddo did not go to school today as we had planned. He says he doesn't want to go back at all, so we'll see where we end up with that. If I thought I could effectively home school him, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I cannot provide him with what he needs right now.

the psych and the therapist both think my child needs to be admitted to a hospital or a day treatment program. I gave in and called the day facility today. While I think it would be a viable option for us, they have a waiting list and they can't say how long we'd be on it. The good news is, they offer anger management therapy for kids and parenting skills workshops to help us better deal with this. I am going to fill out the application and go through the screening process with them and hopefully at the very least we can do these things. Even if it completely disrupts our regular schedule, we need to do something.

I'm not denying that something needs to change, because I wholeheartedly agree it does. I've been telling his doctors that for months. And unfortunately now we are at a point where there needs to be extreme measures taken according to them.

I'm exhausted.. both emotionally and physically. I've lost 7 pounds since Wednesday when this all went down because I'm barely able to eat. I'm on the verge of tears constantly and hold my breath every time I tell him no about something. I should not be living my life in fear of my 7 year old child. I wish I had an immediate solution that we could start working with right now, besides admitting to the hospital. I've been second guessing myself since we were at the hospital Wednesday. I want him to not be so angry anymore. I want him to be happy. I want to see him smiling all the time, not looking so sad and depressed all the time. I want things back to normal.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Need positive energy...

we're heading to the psych in about an hour or so. he finally called me back yesterday and he said we should have admited the kiddo, which honestly really upset me hearing that from him. I'm hoping I do not have to fight with him about changing meds. I want him off of the strattera because I believe it is the problem. These behaviors significantly intensified when we upped the dosage of strattera. I should have called the dr weeks ago, but we're so used to living with an explosive child that I didn't think anything of it. Looking back on everything, the changes occured after we upped the dosages, other side effects began occurring after we upped the dosage. I'm pretty sure all the puking DS has done over the past few weeks has been the medication. He's told us it makes his tummy feel blah, I just assumed he was saying that to get out of taking it because he didn't want to take it and was giving us all sorts of excuses.

At 230ish this afternoon we're also going to the school to see his teacher. She called again last night to check on us and I told her C wanted to come get his backpack and school work, so we'd stop by after school today. Several parents approached her yesterday asking what happened. She didn't tell them much of anything.. I mean she can't legally... I don't remember what she said she told them, but I was happy with her response. I don't want to even step foot back in that school at this point.. I'm absolutely mortified by the situation.

I'm just exhausted. I want to sleep all day, I want to stay home, I do not want to go to the drs and have him tell me again he thinks I should have left my 7 year old in a hospital without me for God knows how long. The hubby is now gone for almost a week.. I am so scared that something horrible is going to happen here with him gone. This sucks.. this really sucks and I'm seriously questioning my decision to not admit him now.. I just want things back to normal...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Out of control

The kiddo is on a major downward spiral. We ended up at the psychiatric hospital with him yesterday and almost had him admitted because he completely lost control at school and was raging in a major way for 35 minutes. My school is being so great about it and are so supportive of me, but it still sucks. We've been trying to get into the drs for awhile now to change his meds. We got a diagnosis from the neuro psych a couple weeks ago and his diagnosis reads like this.. "bipolar, aspergers, adhd, combined" He suggested various other meds to help control the anger/mood swing problems we've been having but I didn't want to make any changes to meds until spring break when I knew he'd be out of school for a week. Obviously we cannot wait that long now. He was completely out of control at school yesterday, even ran from the school at one point. He did this in front of the entire second grade, half the third grade and numerous staff members. There was hitting, punching, kicking, cursing, spitting, and lots of screaming involved. Three of us (including one HUGE man who should be a professional football player just for his size alone) trying to restrain him. Our assistant principal was on the floor with him and she's 18 weeks pregnant.. all I could think about was him hurting her and the baby. It breaks my heart thinking about how his classmates will react to him being back in school on Monday. He's out today and tomorrow by my choice, not the schools. We go back to our psych tomorrow and will hopefully get some meds that will work almost immediately. The hubby is supposed to go back out to sea tomorrow and I'm scared to be alone with the kiddo until we have this under control. He rages like this at home and I'm scared he's going to seriously hurt me or himself. He's told me several times in his raging state that he wants to kill me. I hope I did the right thing not admitting him.. I am questioning myself so much there, but I truly believe that would have made things a million times worse. The severe rages have been going on for weeks.. on an almost daily basis.. at home. But it's just at home.. never has it gotten like that at school. Everyone was so worried about him and me yesterday.. the principal and assistant principal both gave me their cell phone numbers before we went to the hospital, his teacher called me at home last night and I just spoke with the AP again this morning.

So basically my life sucks ass at this present point in time. I'm severely sleep deprived because he's not sleeping, I'm stressed out, I'm over emotional and life just generally sucks. So I've been staying away because I didn't want to snap at anyone else, but felt I owed you all an explanation and really could just use some support and prayers. My IRL friends basically suck or are so far away that only a phone call will do.. so I have no one right now. My mom and sister were both completely amazing yesterday when I was dealing with all. My Mom is out of town on business and was in a meeting, but stayed on the phone with me while i drove to the hospital and then called my sister for me. My sister was willing to leave work to come sit with us at the hospital and has offered to do whatever we need this weekend. My mom even offered to come down this weekend to help out. Connor's teacher is amazing too and she called me last night and told me if I needed any help whatsoever while Russ was gone to call her and she'd be right over. She lives fairly close to where we live.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

That was unexpected...

Bi-polar. That's what the neuro psych said. Aspergers is still kinda in the mix, but he's leaning more towards bi-polar. This is devestating to me. This to me means he will be on medication for the rest of his life to keep his moods stable. He really described DS exactly based on his observations. DH and I were both impressed with how well he hit it about him.

The IQ portion of things was super enlightening. Overall he scored average, but the writing portion of the test he was well below average (duh, he has a writing disability!) and everything else was well above average. So the writing part is what put him overall smack dab in the middle. The IQ stuff was scary accurate and in line with our observations of DS.. everything we think he's good or not so good at. Very enlightening!

All in all, I'm in shock. Bi-polar was not what I was expecting at all and I'm sure my face showed it the minute he said those words. I'm processing it all and trying to figure out where we go from here. He talked a lot about getting with our Psych to change meds because there were probably meds that would help him more than the current mix we are on. He was very pro-med which just added to my upset about this.

I don't know where we go from here.. obviously continue with our psych and therapist regularly.. but it just makes me so sad to know this is not something that will ever be under control unless he's medicated. It scares me to even think of how this is going to affect him once hormones are thrown into the mix in a few years when he hits puberty.

It's funny.. aspergers I was totally OK with. I knew it was something he'd struggle with all his life, but I was ok with it. I'm not ok with this and I'm not sure I will be anytime soon.

So very nervous...

Today we finally get the test results from the Neuro Psych. We had testing done a month ago, a full day of testing to get an Aspergers diagnosis and a Dysgraphia diagnosis. Today we go back. At 4 pm downtown. Traffic is going to freaking suck on the way home, I'm not looking forward to that. I'm nervous. I don't know why. It's not like these test results are going to tell us anything we do not know already. It will however hopefully help us continue with services at school. I think that's why I'm so nervous. We're struggling to find justification to keep him on an IEP and I do not want to see that go. Thursday I have an eligibility meeting and these results will be shared during that as well in the hopes they will go with these results and not require more testing. After all, I just paid a crap ton for these tests.

I dunno.. I'm feeling babbly and probably making no sense whatsoever. I just want 4 pm to get here and get this appt done and over with. I feel like I am holding my breath until then.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Just when I think I'm nuts..

Just when I start to question myself, I'm snapped back to reality. I look at the kiddo and how well he's doing these days and wonder if he truly is on the autism spectrum. I do this often, I'm sure it's part of the acceptance process. But then something happens that forces me back to reality. Yesterday, I picked him up after school. The SPED teacher we absolutely adore is now off to have a baby. Yesterday was her last day. I bought some baby things for her, so we went to give them to her after school. The kiddo wouldn't hug her, wouldn't look at her. He loves this teacher so much.

After that we went down to see one of my friends who works there and then stopped by to chat with another teacher. While we were in the second teachers room, he was just so "off". He kept rambling off totally random things, over and over. He couldn't sit still while we were in there either. This is a teacher he's familiar with, so it's not like I put him in a weird place or something.

He wasn't himself when I picked him up from his classroom either. It was just a weird afternoon with him. I wish I could get him to open up and talk to me.. I mean really talk to me. I wish I could unlock his head somehow and just get in there!

I just want to know what he's thinking. I want to know his thoughts about everything. I feel like he has this huge secret and I'm not being let onto it. I know that sounds strange, but that's how I feel. Getting him to talk to me is so difficult. I mean he'll talk, he'll talk about all sorts of random things. He will spout off facts about Ancient Egypt or American Indians or even multiplication facts, but he just doesn't talk!

He is an absolutely brilliant child. Way smarter than he wants to admit. He has the potential to do anything in his future and be very successful, but it's all just locked up inside him! It makes me sad and frustrated and extremely proud all in the same.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

What does a 7 year old confess?

The kiddo had his First Confession yesterday. This is a huge year for him. He was finally baptised about three weeks ago, First Confession yesterday and First Communion in May. What in the world does a 7 year old confess? Especially one who only has to remember the past three weeks? Whatever he confessed, it was such a proud moment yesterday. They had three priests in there for the kids. One in the regular confessional, one in another rarely used confessional, and then one they could sit with in the church. The kiddo went to the one in the church. I don't know if he sat face to face or back to back because I couldn't see that area of the church from where I was sitting. Watching him stand in line waiting his turn, he looked so incredibly serious and somber. He stood there extremely quiet and just waited his turn. He walked up and gave his confession and then walked back into the little chapel where we were waiting and went to the kneeler and immediately did his penance. He didn't even glance in our direction, just straight there. He sat back down with us when he was finished. I asked him quietly if he did all his penance and with great joy he said "Father only gave me one thing to do!" I am just so proud of him.

I was baptised a Catholic as a baby and remember doing CCD classes as a very young child, but it ended before I did First Communion because we moved and my parents never continued it. I still went to church, just various other churches.. whatever was convienent at the time. All through high school I went to a baptist church. So I don't know much about the Catholic religion compared to other parents whose kids are in the same CCD class as the kiddo. I felt a strong pull to enroll him in the classes last year though. Since he was born, I had felt a strong pull to get him baptised, but it was always something we kept putting off. When we finally had it done, I was just so happy to have it done!!!

He is truly enjoying religion classes every week. He loves learning about the Catholic faith. He's taking it way more seriously than I ever thought he would. He asks to go to Mass, something we never do, but will start doing at his request. I miss going to church every week and since the husband and I got married, forever ago, it's not anything we have ever done. I think we will start going more often. It's easy to go on a Saturday evening, it's only an hour.. we can surely spare an hour of our time on the weekends, right?

Religion used to play such an important part in my life. I still have my faith and feel strongly about what I believe in, but I miss going to church and being active in a church like I was in my youth. I'm feeling a strong pull to make it more important in my life again, so that is what I will do.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Tasty Tuesday.. Zucchini Crust Pizza

I made this recipe last week and even the kiddo gobbled it down! I plan on making it again soon with the zucchini I bought this weekend. Even if you're not gluten free like me, it's still a yummy recipe to try out, and a great way to sneak in some veggies for the kids. I didn't even taste the zucchini in it!!

The recipe came from here..
Zucchini-Crust Pizza (Gluten-Free)
This recipe comes to us from Mireille Cote.
3 ½ cup coarsely grated zucchini
3 eggs, beaten
1/3 cup gluten-free flour mix
½ cup grated gluten-free mozzarella cheese
½ cup grated gluten-free Parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp. fresh basil, minced
salt and pepper to taste

Salt zucchini and let stand 15 minutes to draw out moisture. Squeeze the moisture out really well. Combine zucchini with remaining ingredients and spread onto a medium pizza pan that has been well oiled. Bake at 350 F for 25-30 minutes until surface is dry and firm. Brush top with oil and broil under moderate heat for 5 minutes. Top with desired pizza toppings and
bake at 350 F for 20-25 minutes. Cut into squares.

Now, there are a few things I should note. I used more flour than it called for because it seemed awfully soupy to me when it was mixed up. I also used 1 cup of Italian blend cheese instead of the cheese it called for. Even with the extra flour in there, it was still pretty soupy. I poured it onto a cookie sheet and spread it out pretty thin because I like thin crust pizza. All in all, it's a great recipe and I give it two thumbs up on this Tasty Tuesday!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Just for giggles and grins..

I decided to bring a pedometer to work today. In less than 3 hours, I walked 3,549 steps for a total of 3.36 miles! You'd think with all that walking I do at work that weight would be just falling off of me, right? Not so lucky I guess. I had no clue I walked around that much. I knew it was a lot, I'm on my feet the entire time I'm at work, but that's a lot of steps in less than 3 hours!!! I'm going to start bringing that with me every day to see how much I do.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

I'm sick of it. Just plain sick of it. My body is out of control and I'm taking the control back! I'm going walking several times a week now. Starting today. Last year I lost 30+ pounds and felt awesome and looked better too! Since the husband came home from deployment, I've gained about 25 of it back. I'm still around 10 pounds less than my heaviest weight, so that's good. Sooooo I'm saying it, for all of the interwebz to see.. I will work out at least three days a week. Today was my first day this week. I plugged in my iPod and started walking da hood. I have that nifty nike iPod thang and it logged all my hard work! YAY!

Today I...
walked 1.39 miles
in 26 minutes 35 seconds
I had a 19'05" per mile pace
and 273 calories burned

Not too bad considering I wasn't really walking that fast. Of course my legs feel like jelly right now, but it's a good jelly feeling! HAHA!

My first goal has nothing to do with weight. I want to get 1.5 miles in 30 minutes or less.

I can do this, right? Lots of people do this everyday!

Eventually I'll start going to the gym again too, or dust off my Wii Fit and work out on that too.

I can totally do this and get healthy again!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

So here's what I think...

If your child is being bugged so much at school that she is coming home crying to you about it, you should go to the school and talk to EVERY teacher/staff that comes in contact with your child and make them aware of the problem. Make sure your child knows you have spoken to everyone and everyone says come to me immediately if there is a problem! You should not go off on the cafeteria monitor and office staff when your child gets in trouble because she did something to someone after they did something to her. If you make people aware there is a problem, then they can do whatever they need to do to make sure your child feels safe and secure at school.

I'm just saying.. it's what I would do, I have an open line of communication with my child's school. Besides the fact I work there, if he was coming home telling me every night that kids were pickin on him, you bet your sweet ass I'd be down in the office telling them and meeting with everyone to see what we can do to make him feel safe.

Now maybe the situation could have been handled differently. Perhaps. Probably. Another child probably should have gotten in trouble too. But really, what point does it prove to your child (who is already upset) when you go off on people you do not need to be going off on? What point does it prove? You can be a bully too just like the kids your child is dealing with? Cause that's what you're showing them.

I don't care if it was the straw that broke it.. really.. I understand, but I can't fix what I don't see and it is nothing I've seen.

So here's what I think. I think you need to apologize to a few people, I'm sure that's not going to happen, but you should. I also think that there is no reason to be disrespectful to others with your child (and other students) sitting right there, what kind of example is that? There's no favoritism at play, at least not where I'm concerned. I've sent my own child to the principals office.. oh yes.. I have. So don't accuse me of playing favorites with everyone else but your child. It's not what happens.