well we had a plan..

we came up with what we thought was the best plan for the kiddo. I spoke to our therapist this morning and told her the plan. Our plan was to bring him to the hospital the week before spring break. He would only miss one day of school and then the husband would be home the entire time the kiddo would be in the hospital. Anytime before that, the husband would be out to sea and it is imperative that he be there when the kiddo is in the hospital. It took many conversations and arguements and sleepless nights to come up with this decision and know in our hearts that this is the right choice for the kiddo.

So the therapist thought our plan was a good one and told me to call the hospital and let them know. I did. The person on the other end of the phone told me we could not plan an admission to the hospital. ummm why not? He needs the help regardless if we do it today, tomorrow or two weeks from now. She told me that we had to wait until we had another serious incident again before we could admit him. We can't just plan out an admission like we wanted to do. So I don't know where we go from here. I really have no idea. If he gets out of control next week while the hubby is gone, do I take him to the hospital then? What f-ing good will that do for the husband who NEEDS to be there for treatment and counseling and to just talk to the doctors? He NEEDS to be there to hear what they have to say. I can tell him everything until I'm blue in the face, but I do not think he will ever truly get it unless he actually hears it from a doctor.

So I feel like we're back to square one again. I just don't know what to do. Something has to change here.. we need help and we need it quickly. I feel like I'm drowing sometimes, other times I feel like I'm just rolling over and ignoring it because I don't want to set off the kiddo. I'm nervous and I'm scared and I just want him better. :(